Some people seemed slightly disappointed that yesterday’s article Top 10 Reason’s Why You Can Fuck Off was not directly telling them personally why they should fuck off. Thus proving my theory that the only people that would put themselves through the torture of reading my pretentious self deprecating splooge are masochists.

So for today’s blog I have created a quiz where you can find out exactly how much I hate you. Yaay look at me with something that isn’t just a wall of text. Aren’t I fancy with my interactivity and pictures and shit. You all make me sick. I guarantee this quiz will generate more traffic than every single post i’ve done so far at half the word count… Pricks.

You check the morning paper only to discover that today’s horoscope is predicting a rocky patch in one of your relationships as Saturn aligns with Jupiter, it also suggests that an unexpected event will catch you off-guard towards the end of the month (hopefully you’re not a cancer).

You put down (or burn) the newspaper and get ready for work. How are you getting in today?

You arrive at work, slightly late as usual. As you unpack your laptop and work supplies you realise oh no! You’ve left your lunch on the table at home. Why is life such a cruel and unforgiving mistress. Now you need a new plan for lunch, what on earth will you do?!?

Oh dear, Sally is at it again. You go into the break room just in time to hear a joke about gang rape. She’s been warned about this kind of thing before, you should probably say something.

As you turn to leave the break room Ronda from HR emerges from the shadows like the demon serpent she is, before you can turn to run, she pounces. You’re pulled in close as photo after photo of her friend's sister's newborn baby are etched into your long term memory smashing out valuable high school physics lessons with each finger flick. You have to do something!

It’s the end of the day and you’re packing up to go home. Suddenly a wild supervisor appears! You’re being asked to finish categorising 'pointless object A' before you leave. This will take at least another hour!

You’re finally home after a hard day's work, time to collapse on the sofa and

Your significant other returns home, seems they want to do something this weekend to break up the monotony of daily life.

Time for bed, teeth are brushed, clothes are off and alarms are set. All that’s left to do is

Oh look, my witty entrepreneuring acquaintance has posted another link to his blog. I think I’ll go ahead and